dusk037: (Oguri Shun)
For my best friend's birthday, I gave her 21 paper cranes. I told her about the ...legend(? Or myth? idk), that a wish can be granted with a thousand paper cranes. Real life, motivation (or lack thereof)... these things took me forever in folding up the cranes. I kept my promise, though. I still folded cranes when I had the time (and motivation). Now, I'm only a few cranes away to a thousand, maybe more because there's the first 21 of them I gave her (and around 14 more the year her son was born).

We met in high school, during our first year. We hit it off pretty nicely, but since I got transferred to the 'star' section, we basically never got to meet just to hang out. I had to make up excuses just so I can pay her a visit. My parents didn't allow me to go during my high school days because it's too far out. She's never been to my house, except the one time after college, because her (man) is friends with my older brother. She calls me, or sends me a chat, at very rare moments, just so she could tell me about what's up with her life. I'm too shy, or afraid I'll disturb her precious time so I don't call; or if I do, she's almost always not around (or "grounded" ...or hanging out with her other friends). And then the last time we talked, it just hit me―I'm the only one who thinks we're best friends. Just how messed up was this setting? Took me so long to realize that, too.

So. The next part should be addressed directly to that person. I have no idea how to contact her, though. Maybe I can just drop off the cranes at her house, leave it at the neighbors, along with this message.

...

Four years, 11 months (going for a solid five come 2015) to complete 1,000 cranes. With this, I wish to be able to let go.

It's been fun, getting to know someone like (you). I don't regret it, but I need to move on―I can't be stuck here, just waiting for (you) to come around whenever (you) "need" me, because (you) can't call on every one else. I don't want our friendship to be poisoned by these negative thoughts―feeling like a second option (or worse, a last resort) is something that nobody ever deserves and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Let this be the last thing I do for (you). May (you) live a peaceful and happy life.

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miss zero

April 2017

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