dusk037: (*pensive*)
Kay lives!

My first post in a long while is fic. I'm not sorry. >.>
I finally finished this; I started writing it two years ago for the donation drive that [livejournal.com profile] jpnforph led for Typhoon Haiyan victims, but then things happened.

Title: Kiss Kiss Kiss (×5)
Pairing/group: Team all the pairings! \o/ (Well, Nakamaru/Ueda if you squint)
Rating/warnings: PG-13 (for the most part). Kisses - lots of it.
Word count: 976 words
Notes: The warning above pretty much summarizes the fic. ;) Title and cut text shamelessly stolen from KT and kisumai songs.
For [livejournal.com profile] je_levy. I should also thank Joo, Sara, and AJ for letting me pester them with this (aka for looking it over for me and cheering so I can finish it) - this is equally dedicated for you. ♥

...

速く, kiss me. )

...

:3/
dusk037: (Oguri Shun)
For my best friend's birthday, I gave her 21 paper cranes. I told her about the ...legend(? Or myth? idk), that a wish can be granted with a thousand paper cranes. Real life, motivation (or lack thereof)... these things took me forever in folding up the cranes. I kept my promise, though. I still folded cranes when I had the time (and motivation). Now, I'm only a few cranes away to a thousand, maybe more because there's the first 21 of them I gave her (and around 14 more the year her son was born).

We met in high school, during our first year. We hit it off pretty nicely, but since I got transferred to the 'star' section, we basically never got to meet just to hang out. I had to make up excuses just so I can pay her a visit. My parents didn't allow me to go during my high school days because it's too far out. She's never been to my house, except the one time after college, because her (man) is friends with my older brother. She calls me, or sends me a chat, at very rare moments, just so she could tell me about what's up with her life. I'm too shy, or afraid I'll disturb her precious time so I don't call; or if I do, she's almost always not around (or "grounded" ...or hanging out with her other friends). And then the last time we talked, it just hit me―I'm the only one who thinks we're best friends. Just how messed up was this setting? Took me so long to realize that, too.

So. The next part should be addressed directly to that person. I have no idea how to contact her, though. Maybe I can just drop off the cranes at her house, leave it at the neighbors, along with this message.

...

Four years, 11 months (going for a solid five come 2015) to complete 1,000 cranes. With this, I wish to be able to let go.

It's been fun, getting to know someone like (you). I don't regret it, but I need to move on―I can't be stuck here, just waiting for (you) to come around whenever (you) "need" me, because (you) can't call on every one else. I don't want our friendship to be poisoned by these negative thoughts―feeling like a second option (or worse, a last resort) is something that nobody ever deserves and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Let this be the last thing I do for (you). May (you) live a peaceful and happy life.

>.>

Apr. 17th, 2014 11:56 am
dusk037: (*scaredy-Kat*)

Title: Love Rocks the Airwaves
Author: miss zero / [livejournal.com profile] dusk037
Pairings/Characters: Taguchi Junnosuke/Tanaka Koki. Appearances by KAT-TUN
Word count: 1,210
Rating: PG-13
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] xingphonic

Warnings: Nightclub AU, a moment stolen from the FLASH PV, and several liberties taken from operating such an establishment/communicating in between the staff and crew.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] fic_the_faith 2014, in which I wasn't anon at all. /___\ (How do I make up for such a crime?)

Summary: “I have the feeling that tonight I'll be able to get in touch with you...”

...

Mood music: Taguchi Junnosuke - FLASH | KAT-TUN - THE D-MOTION | *Franco - Renewal

...

You said we could meet here again Friday night, destinies tied together by this sound )
dusk037: (*pensive*)
Title: Blasphemy
Author: miss zero / [livejournal.com profile] dusk037
Pairing: Fujigaya Taisuke/Kitayama Hiromitsu (with surprise!Senga <.<)
Word count: ~1k
Rating: R (pushing at the NC-17??)
Beta: None. Yet.
Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine. An old man named Johnny Kitagawa does.
Notes: Seminary!AU. For Ri in the spring 2013 pwp exchange. There's a word for this, and as senpai puts it is: blasphemous.
Special thanks to those who held my hand, waved pompoms at me (you know who you are), and for putting up with my whining over at Twitter (sorry this took forever, senpai).

Music: Blasphemy (from which the title and cut text is shamelessly stolen) | Inori (PV) | Fire Woman

...

My new religion is you… )
...

...oops?
dusk037: (*scaredy-Kat*)
Title: A Scandal in Kanagawa
Author: miss zero / [livejournal.com profile] dusk037
Pairing: Koyama/Shige bff-ery
Word count: 333
Rating: Gen
Beta: None. Yet.
Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine. An old man named Johnny Kitagawa does.
Notes: Lots of references to BBC Sherlock, which I also don't own. 

In which KoyaShige become Sherlock fanboys )

orz
dusk037: (*scaredy-Kat*)
So I mentioned in a couple posts back that I joined a speed-writing challenge called "shiritori." (...and it will be my turn again s**n *dreads it*).
This is the one I wrote (originally posted here).


Title: (If anyone has a better suggestion other than "Surprise!" please come forward)
Author: miss zero / [personal profile] dusk037  
Pairing: Ren/Miko (only if you squint)
Word count: 705
Rating: Gen
Genre: Fluff. Cavity-inducing fluff.
Beta: None. Yet.
Disclaimer: (Ikemen desu ne, its drama characters and/or the actors playing them are) not mine, no matter how I wish otherwise.


Ren snaps back into attention. )
dusk037: (Default)
I dread this part, mostly, but I just did one. Today. 

If I removed you and you want to stay friended, let me know. Otherwise, I'm sorry, and I hope that when we meet again, I can be a better friend for you. orz
dusk037: (Default)
I dread this part, mostly, but I just did one. Today. 

If I removed you and you want to stay friended, let me know. Otherwise, I'm sorry, and I hope that when we meet again, I can be a better friend for you. orz
dusk037: (*pensive* (Oguri Shun))
This IS long, but I trust hope trust you will take the time to read it.

...

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."

"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well."

"An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching."

"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves."

"Be the change that you want to see in the world."

"Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances."

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

"We may have our private opinions but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?"

--Mohandas Gandhi


...

Ganked those from the lovely [personal profile] steinsgrrl. I was reading her post and it got me thinking...


Things happened recently and I now know that... as I am, I'm more of a liability than a friend.

I know that something's wrong with me and that I should change it. I was (or still am?) stuck in the mentality that I should change to gain the approval of those around me; and with that in mind, I was never able to move forward. With my insecurities, and the thought of not being able to please, I kept on doing the same (wrong) thing that back then... I didn't know (or won't accept) that were wrong.

Thankfully, I had someone --who shares somewhat similar insecurities as I do-- tell me that I should not aim to please. That I should change not for the people who thinks (or in my case, knows) that I should; but, that I should do it for me.

So yeah. I'm going to take this leap. For myself. For the better.

I should be strong... but my definition of the word is not ideal for the change that I'm going to do. I suffered blows to my self-esteem before and I haven't really gotten over those yet. I find I can't forgive myself for the mistakes I  made/make, because I don't feel worthy of anything. So... I need to learn to forgive myself, before anything else; as based on this: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

I need to do this for myself, and I should deal with myself on my own... but I'm not going to deny: I need friends. I understand if you want to get away from me, faulty/weak/insecure/burden as I am, but I'm not going to pretend it won't hurt. I need friends now, more than ever, to stay with me. And I need someone I can trust to kick me (but gently, please!), when I do fall away.

It'll be hard, and oh soooooo frustrating, because patience is not my virtue. It will be tough and it will not happen overnight; hell, I know I may --once in a while-- fall off the wagon.



If you made it until here, then, thank you. Take a cookie. And have my heart.

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